Herding Cats
Mood:  chillin'

This morning I was herding Nina.  She jumped up on my desk and I tried to influence her to get on her pillow.  I didn't want to pick her up and put her there, nor did I want to force her or yell at her.  So I was gently prodding her and saying, "Get on your pillow."  She finally did.

And then it occured to me.  I can herd cats.  I am a magic man.

To give this a little more thought, my whole career has worked thus far because I can herd cats.  I can pull projects from the brink of disaster and they succeed.  I can get developers to work with sales people.  I can, literally, herd cats.

If that's not an accomplishment then I don't know what is. 

Mike Scumabee

Sonja saw this article this morning and called it to my attention:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071208/ap_po/huckabee_aids_5

Apparently in 1992 Mike Huckabee wrote that people who have AIDS should be isolated so they can spread the disease to decent people.  He also wrote that the government shouldn't have to pay to treat people with AIDS (presumably because those evil bastards brought it on themselves) and wealthy celebrities who care should donate money to treatment centers.

Even for 1992, this is a pitiful thing to say.  In 1992 it had already been established that saying someone should go ahead and die because they belong to a high risk group was not a particularly cool thing to say.  Demanding to cut government funding for AIDS treatment programs wasn't cool either.  It had already been demonstrated that HIV doesn't spread through casual contact.  This Huckabee guy is a turd sandwich.  Or is he the giant douche?

Are there any more ultra-right wing morons who would like to be president?

Nina thinks that it is Mike Huckabee who should be isolated. 

The Lying Mr. Bush
Mood:  mischievious

The story broke today about how our beloved leader has been lying to the country again (and again and again and again).  It seems that after all of his carrying on about Iran being a nuclear (or as Georgie says "nuculer") threat, he's known all along that they don't have nuclear capability.

Did someone say weapons of mass destruction?

Could it be that our beloved leader is going to lie and cheat his way into the next war because he and his buddies need to trade more American lives for oil money?  Please, Mr. Bush, do you really think that it is acceptable to turn the blood of American men and women into money?  And stop trying to hide behind this "I'm too stupid to know the difference between right and wrong act."  Or maybe, it isn't an act.  Maybe the reality is that you are so goddamn stupid that you've made your father look smart. 

 OMG, I just figured it out.  Young Georgie is throwing himself on the sword to make his father look better.  How could I not have seen that before?  That's the only thing that could explain how a human being could do such an abysmal job as our nation's leader.  He is doing this on purpose to elevate his father to second worst president ever.

I was thinking that the country has changed so much since I was a kid.  I remember when Reagan said that certain things weren't his fault because he didn't remember being told this or that or even signing this or that.  Now the president looks us in the face and lies outright.

In the immortal words of Homer Simpson, "When will people learn?  Democracy doesn't work?"

I don't know, maybe when Jeb becomes president after Hillary people will realize that it's all a bunch of cat crap.

I'm sorry.  Sonja has corrected me.  If it were cat crap it would be something good. 

Nina and Sonja Songs
Mood:  energetic
Now Playing: Allman Bros - Eat a Peach

It's the return of Nina and Sonja songs!  This is a tradition that started with Sneakers songs (like "Eatin' Foody in the Free World" and reached a pinnacle with Merlin Songs.  Could anyone ever forget "Hair Curlin' Merlin"?

It turns out that today is one of those where I actually feel good.  I cleaned the apartment and rearranged the furniture while I was at it.  It for some reason seems like a day where maybe I should feel happy to be alive.  It's been a tremendous quarter at Sarrel Group and it feels so goddamn good to be busy doing work that I like and I actually make the money from it not some evil corporation.   I mean, Good Lord!  This is what they meant by job satisfaction.

 

So, the return of Nina and Sonja Songs.  I've got this kick-ass stereo set up right now that exceeds my wild audiophile dreams as an 18 y/o.  I like playing loud music and changing the words to being about Nina and Sonja.  It's mostly about petting them or playing with them, or them eating or crapping.

For example, Rare Earth works perfectly for this.

I just want to celebrate, another day of living.

I just want to celebrate, another day of petting.

Or, more Rare Earth.  "Get Ready" becomes "Get Purring".  So the whole thing looks like, Get purring.  Get purring.  Nina, get purring. 

The Beatle's Blackbird becomes, Nina petting in the dead of night.  Take these cutey girls and learn to purr.  All my life.  I was always waiting for these girls to arrive.   

 Or the Allman Bros, Blue Sky, Sonja's my blue sky, she's my sunny day.  Lord you know it makes me high when turns her purrs my way.

I don't know why I feel this way today.  I haven't felt this way in a long, long time.  This is the way.  I'm making my own path and anyone who stands in my way will either get out of my way gracefully or get knocked down by a freight train roaring forward with the momentum of someone who believes in himself. 

And heaven help anyone who would deny Nina and Sonja petting. 

Spike and Isis
Mood:  caffeinated

A few weeks ago I went to Atlanta for a wrestling game event
and a wrestling match.  That was fun and all, but the real thrill was hanging out with my friend Leslie and her husband Brian.  Not only did we get to visit their house, a charming dwelling in suburban Atlanta decorated with the finest collection of dead plants that I've ever seen, but we also went for some of the best barbecue I've ever had.  You should really check out Swallow at the Hollow the next time you're in Hot 'Lanta.

A standout moment of the trip was getting to meet the beautiful Isis and the camera shy Spike.

Spike's a big boy.  You can't tell from this camera angle, but I was lucky to get a photo of him at all.

Not to make Spike jealous, but Isis is really beautiful.  I realized two things about cats with this visit.  The first is that Isis is so beautiful that now I know Nina and Sonja are merely cute.  The other is that Nina and Sonja are truly large.  Sonja told me she's very jealous of Spike and Isis because they get to go outside all the time.  Later, Nina whispered in my ear, "Oh yeah, like she'd increase her activity level from coma to lethargic if she went outside." 

Here's a shot of the beautiful Ms. Isis.

Powerful Chi
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: Led Zeppelin - How Many More Times

I haven't written in a while because I've been really busy with, but this is too funny so I have to share it.

 The other night I got together with one of my friends.  I'll leave out his name because he might be embarassed if he read this.  He's been studying Tai Chi and Kung Fu for a few years and he really likes to try to impress both himself and other people with how brilliant of a martial artist he is.  Every time we get together at some point it degenerates into him doing his routines and telling me how strong he feels.  It's actually occured to me that he's like an 8 year old saying "look at me mommy.  aren't I great mommy."

On Thursday night, he was doing Tai Chi and I was doing my best to tune him out.  Sonja wanted to walk by him and he started punching the air in front of her face.  She, like any good cat, started growling and hissing in response.  He tortured her like this for several minutes and then he turned to me and said, "I am so powerful.  Look how I can focus my Chi.  I've learned so much studying with Master Chan.  I can't wait to tell him how well I can control my Chi.  The cat feels my power."

So I said, "Yes, it is brilliant the way you can poke your fingers in the cat's face and then she hisses and growls.  Wow, you really focused your Chi with that one."

I would imagine that if anyone had started poking his fingers in Sonja's face and yelling "K-ya" it would have pissed her off regardless of how strong his Chi is. 

Scaredy Sonja
Mood:  caffeinated

I knew Sonja was a little tense, but I never knew she was this tense.  Yesterday she was eating and I walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water.  Apparently, I startled her so strongly that she did that crazy cat jump straight up in the air thing, then landed and puked.  I can't believe that I frightened my own cat so badly just by walking near her that she puked.  She's a crazy girl.

 I'll save everyone (all 2 loyal readers) from having to view a photo of the puke.

Winnie Spreads the Love
Mood:  caffeinated
I'm taking care of Winnie the Poodle, my parents' toy poodle.  She is so good natured.  Such a little ball of love.  She lets old ladies pet her when we're walking down the street.  She lets anyone pet her.  Nina and Sonja are getting along well with her.  She's got such a great attitude. The only problem that I have is that she wants me to pet her all day.  and then Nina wants me to pet her all day.  I can only do so much petting.

So Much Cuddling
Mood:  caffeinated

I'm back in NYC after about 10 days of travel.  I'm taking care of Winnie because my parents are going to a wedding in Boston.  So I took the red-eye home, picked up Winnie, and then came back to my apartment.  I fell asleep on the bed. 

 First Sonja woke me up to pet her.  The Winnie woke me up to pet her.  Then I had that dream again about being crushed in a waffle iron and when i woke up Nina was on my chest purring.

 There's a whole lot of petting going on!

Lockdown!
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: The White Stripes

I recently did a story on environmental monitoring for PC Mag.  More specifically, server room monitoring.  So now I've got this thing mounted on the wall, with cameras and thermometers and motion sensors.  I've got one camera aimed at the living room and another aimed at the food and water.  this way i may be able to tell if they're ok or not while I'm traveling.  I also installed a door strike so when someone opens my front door the system sends me a text message.

 I think all of this is quite reasonable.  Tina thinks I'm crazy.  She says that I should have my own reality show because this is not a normal way to take care of cats.  I think it is.

 I think i could adapt the door strike so that when their food dish is empty it sends me a text message.

I'm one connected Daddy.

Which reminds me.  I was thinking about it for some reason the other day, and I still think that I want my tombstone to say "Beloved Cat Daddy".  I may have to adapt that someday and say "Beloved Daddy".